A man asked for a private lapdance...and you won't believe what he saw in the lady's butt

Can someone say ewww? A guy paid extra
cash to have a private lapdance in the VIP of
a club... and when he looked closely at the
dance, you won't believe what he saw. It's
quite disgusting. Watch video here

A collection of akpos jokes! Wonderful

A Warri tenant walked in & saw his landlords son
trying to commit suicide & a brief conversation
ensued :-
Tenant :- Akpos! Wetin you de do so?
Akpos :- I dey try commit suicide, as Papa dey
always complain say my life dey worthless!
Tenant :- That one no good now ¦ but why you come
tie de rope for your waist?
Akpos :- Bros, no be small thing o! I bin tie de rope
for neck, I NEARLY DIE!
--------------------------------
Today's lesson at school is Animal science
Teacher :- wot is a baby lizard called?
Akpos :- A baby lizard is called lizzybaby.
--------------------------------
During the exam, Akpors keep looking under the
table, then he would write on the answer sheet. His
teacher saw him doing that & thought he was
copying. When collecting the paper after the exam..
Teacher :- I'm gonna minus 10 marks.
Akpors :- Hiiaaa!! Why sir?
Teacher :- For copying. Akpors: How do you know
that I was copying?
Teacher :- I saw you looking under the table.
Akpors :- But sir, the Question 9 said, STUDY THE
TABLE BELOW.
Enjoy ur weekend.....
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Funny jokes

An Igbo man mistakenly sent
2million Naira to awrong phone
number via Mobile Money.
He realized that before the person
would withdraw the whole money,
he had to think of what to do if he
was to get his money back. To the
person’s phone number, he
immediately sent a text: “Hello Dark
and Worthy Initiate, I hope you are
okay. I believe you’ve received the
money I sent you for the initiation
ceremony into Eternal Mystical
Order Of Glorious Satanism in the
Ogboni Fraternity scheduled to
happen at 12midnight tomorrow.
That money is only for transport. I
will send you more for pocket
money and There are riches awaiting
you.
2 weeks after the initiation, the
family member closest to you will
die under mysterious circumstances
and this death will unlock your
ticket to wealth, ability to fly at
night and change into all kinds of
animals to deliver your
various assignments.
Remember to carry a syringe and
needle meant to draw your blood
every 20 minutes.
Please don’t be late because the
Viceroy of Satan himself will be
present to officiate the ceremony.
Thanks in advance. But incase you
are not ready to join, kindly send
back the money otherwise you will
die in the next 24hrs”.
3 Minutes later, he got a Mobile
Money
message:
‘You have received 2million Naira
for your mobile money account….’
Igbo Kwenu…LMAO

Akpos and his girl friend

Me and my girl were having a
quarrel then i said to her 'PACK
YOUR THINGS AND...' Then she
had a phone call so i had to
stop then she received the call
and it was her dad... All of a
sudden he said 'My Daughter i
have sent 50thousand dollars
into your account..give your boy
30thousand out of it' then she
said okay to her dad and turned
to me and asked 'You said i
should pack my things and do
what'... Then i said to her 'I
SAID PACK YOUR THINGS AND
GIVE IT TO ME TO WASH..'......
she smiled and said...that was
my kid bro on the phone with
his jokes............i fainted!
.
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Akpos and his girlfriend

GIRLFRIEND :- (Low Voice)
Sweety,Last night I had a dream about you.
Akpos :- (excited) Oooh, Tell me Something Honey...
GIRLFRIEND :- I dreamt We were traveling in a bus,
Suddenly the bus lost control and fell in the river.
Everyone swam to save their life,but you were still
swimming and searching for some one.
Akpos :- (with luv); Oh,
Definitely,i was searching for You..Right?"
GIRLFRIEND :- (Frown) NO, You were shouting,
Driver! Driver!! conductor! Conductor!!, Please,Give
me My Change before You die.
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Akpos and his girlfriend u need to read this.

Akpos :- hello who dey call?
Jennifa :- it's me Jennifa!
Akpos :- Jenni Babe! U
remember my side today?
Jennifa :- u know that I'm the caring type but school
wouldn't allow me visit u. Where are u? And what
are u doing?
Akpos :- I dey chill for town! I dey on BB right now!
Jennifa :- u are a bigger boy
now Oooooh!
Akpos :- na the levels be that! Always on BB level
Jennifa :- Do u know what?
Today's date is?
Akpos :- not at all!
Jennifa :- U are not caring at all! U've forgotten that
today is my Birthday!
Akpos: I dey sorry Jenni! Na
wetin make u call me be that?
Jennifa :- just want to invite u over to my hostel to
make my day!
Akpos :- that one na small thing na!
Jennifa :- Ehen! Get me
something special Oooh!
Akpos :- like wetin?
Jennifa :- I want to be on BB also!
Akpos :- that one na small level for me to arrange!
AFTER 3 Hours Akpos Arrived
with a brown paper bag with 4 corner shape!
Jennifa :- JEZZZZ!!! I guess it's Bold5!
Akpos :- shey na becos of BB u dey shout like this?
She gave Akpos everything he wanted!
AFTER EVERYTHING-
Akpos :- Jenni Babe! I wan move! Take ur BB
Jennifa :- let me see u off fast,can't wait to see my
BB!
AFTER 10 Minutes Akpos Phone Rings-
Clara :- hello Mr Akpos, ur Galfriend fainted just now
after opening a brown paper bag that contains Bread
and Beans..
Akpos :- Na still BB na
One word for Akpos!!
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Nigeria.... My beloved country, you need to see

NIGERIA.... MY BELOVED
COUNTRY
• Where our mothers use ice
cream bowls to store
pepper in the fridge
• Where ladies don't accept
flowers for valentine
or birthday.
• Where lizard go look ur
eyeball, nod hin head say "notin
dey happen guy"
• Where a blind beggar will
reject a fake naira
note.
• Where Ground nuts are sold in
BOTTLES and
WATER sold in SACHETS.
• Where parents claim they
were always first position in
school.
• Where You Can Be A Driver For
Years With out A
'DRIVER's LICENCE'
• where a company wil want to
employ a graduate of 20yrs old
and must have 15yrs working
experience.
• Where you win a Generator for
paying your Electricity bills.
• Where government officials
don't know the
national anthem.
• Where Gala and Lacasera are d
best options wen stuck in
traffic.
• Where you are jailed for
stealing Maggi and
given a chieftancy title for
stealing millions.
• Where we fight for
everything. To gain admission
to university, to get a job and
worse still to enter
a bus!
• Where u are robbed of your phone and the
robbers come back for ur Pin
code n charger.
• Where ur type of GENERATOR
shows how RICH
you are.
• Where you can easily blame
your family
members in the village for your
problems.
• Where rich men must have pot
belly.
• WHERE IF U DO ANY HOW U GO
SEE ANY HOW.
• Where generator is a social
amenity.
• Where people dey collect
change for beggar
hand.
• Where igbo men produce
Toyota camry jeans and Dr'dre
slippers
• Where bb torch is sold in
traffic for N12k!!!
•Where the man who had no
shoes is the
president.

Imagine if animals and insects were on Facebook.

Imagine If animals and insects were on facebook,
we'll be having posts and comments like......
1. MOSQUITO WALL POST:-
Finally PHCN don off light,
b lood sucking things.
COMMENTS :-
(a) Fuck up, dey don on gen for my end.
(b) Abeg bros which area you dey? My people don
fleet house.
2. DOG WALL POST :-
Na wa oh..... I never even stay reach 5mins, all these
calabar people don dey eye me.
* Ghost mode activated, them no go see me
* escaping things on my mind.
COMMENTS :- My neighbour na calabar too. The man
eyes no good for where dogs dey... I go bite am soo.
3. RAT WALL POST :- Omo na die I dey oh..... No
food for my master kitchen. Na ehm books go hear
am nah. Ehn think say I come ehm house to watch
tv abi?
COMMENT :- Your master stingy,dis own am jor.
4. CHICKEN WALL POST :-
On the 1st of Dec. I'll be traveling for one month, if
you need my attention, enter bush I no fit shout. All
these xtians no be em at all.
COMMENT :- No be only you oh, I dey migrate too.
5. HE-GOAT WALL POST :-
Heat mood activated, any she-goat online for s*x
chat?
(a) She-goat. @He-goat you're a capital BIG fool.
(b) He-goat. @She-goat,
pretender, as if you no dey
feel horny. Carry your smelling backside comot for
post jor.
6. COCK WALL POST :-
All these hen go dey run like say dey no wan do. But
if you catch them, dem go bend quickly, set for
doggy style.
COMMENT :- Your own better nah, you dey catch
them. The ones for my area na fast and furious. I
don pursue tire....
7. RAM WALL POST :-
As Salah don dey reach, na church things from now
on. (blood of Jesus go cover me)....
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Biblical toasting you will like it!

Akpors :- Do you have
a boyfriend?
Girl :- Nope. I don’t
want to have a boyfriend.
Akpors :- Gen. 2:18 The
Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be
alone. I will
make a helper suitable for him.” “You”
Girl :- But I don’t love you.
Akpors :- 1 John 4:8
“Who ever does not love does not know God,
because God is love.”
Girl :- But how can I be
sure that you will be
loyal and honest?
Akpors :- Mark 13:31
“Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will
never pass away.”
Girl :- But I’m busy, I’m still studying.
Akpors :- Ecclesiastes
3:1 “There is a time for every thing, and a season for
every
activity under the
heavens.”
Girl :- But why me?
There are a lot of girls
out there.
Akpors :- Proverbs
31:29 “Many women do noble things, but you
surpass them all.”
Girl :- But what is in me
that you like?
Akpors :- Song of Solomon 4:7 “You are altogether
beautiful,
my darling there is no
flaw in you.”
Girl :- But I’m not beautiful.
Akpors :- Proverbs
31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting,
but a
woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Girl :- What do you want to happen?
Akpors : 2 Corinthians
2:4 “ For I wrote you out of great distress and
anguish of heart and with many tears,
not to grieve you but to let you know the depth of
my love for you.”
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Who is the most foolish among this two idiot

Please i need your comments,who is the most
foolish among this two idiots?
:- An igbo man saw a ripe mango,he climpt it and
touched the mango instead of plucking it,he came
down and picked a stone and started stoning the
mango.
:- An housa man was coming back from a wedding
and on his way back he saw a shit,so he bent down
and tested it and shouted.."chai na shit oh....thank
God say i no match am"
so who is the most foolish drop your comments
please.
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A realy bad and anoying day,guys check this out

There was this guy in a bar,he was just looking at
his drink,he has been like that for over an hour.
Then this big trouble making truck driver steped in
and took the drink from the man and drank it,then
the poor man started crying,and the truck driver said
"come on guy,i was just joking,alright i'll buy you
another drink,i just cant watch cry...
"No,is not dat,is just dat 2day is my worst day in
life...
First i fell asleep and i went late to work and my
boss sacked me,
when i left the building i found out that my car was
stolen and the police said there is notting they can
do.
I took a taxi and went home wen i got down from the
taxi i found out i've lost my wallet with my credit
card and the driver just drived away.
I went home and when i got there i saw my wife in
bed with my gardner,i left home and came to this
bar,and when i was tinking about puting an end to
my life,you showed up and drank my poison...
Lol what a bad thay 4 the man please drop ur
comments.
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Akpos and his wife

Akpos knocked at their door at midnight. His Wife
shouted from inside the house; Go back to where you
are coming from!
Akpos replied; Open the door or I will throw my body
into the swimming pool!
His Wife shouted; Go ahead and kill yourself, do you
think I care? He stood near the dark part of the gate
and waited for 2 minutes, he then picked up a big
stone and threw it into the swimming
pool. !!!!..Kpaaaaka. .!!!!
The Wife heard the sound and opened the door and ran
towards the swimming pool. He quickly sneaked into
the house and locked the door.
His Wife shouted; Open the door or I will shout! He
shouted back; Shout till all the neighbours wake up and
come here. You will tell them where you are coming
from by this time of the night with only pant and bra.